It’s 1:47 a.m., and I’ve now been lying awake for approximately 72 minutes because there it is again. Something for my brain to take a bite of. And chew, and crunch and grind into something that no longer resembles the original thought at all but instead a self-identifying mush that suddenly has me questioning everything I know about who I am as a human being.

I wish I could spit it out.

Most people seem capable of having a passing thought, acknowledging it briefly, and then continuing on with their lives.

It must be nice. Peaceful. To not accidentally turn tiny moments into full psychological investigations about identity, relationships, expectations, creativity, motherhood, the internet, or whatever strange human pattern my brain has decided needs immediate analysis before I’m apparently allowed to rest again.

Maybe if I put them somewhere not in my mind, they’ll feel important enough to let me rest.

Otherwise, they'd continue circling my head at unreasonable hours of the night pretending to be emergencies.

That is to say, I'm interested in the thoughts people can feel but don’t always have language for yet, and in resisting the pressure to turn every experience into polished content with a clean conclusion. 

And do so in a way that feels more person than platform, much to the chagrin of algorithms everywhere.

These ideas only exist in-process. There are no rules. All opinions are subject to change.

More person than platform.

It’s 1:47 a.m., and I’ve now been lying awake for approximately 72 minutes because there it is again. Something for my brain to take a bite of. And chew, and crunch and grind into something that no longer resembles the original 

thought at all but instead a self-identifying mush that suddenly has me questioning everything I know about who I am as a human being.

I wish I could spit it out.

Most people seem capable of having a passing thought, acknowledging it briefly, and then continuing on with their lives.

It must be nice. Peaceful. To not accidentally turn tiny moments into full psychological investigations about identity, relationships, expectations, creativity, motherhood, the internet, or whatever strange human pattern my brain has decided needs immediate analysis before I’m apparently allowed to rest again.

Maybe if I put them somewhere not in my mind, they’ll feel important enough to let me rest.

Otherwise, they'd continue circling my head at unreasonable hours of the night pretending to be emergencies.

That is to say, I'm interested in the thoughts people can feel but don’t always have language for yet, and in resisting the pressure to turn every experience into polished content with a clean conclusion. 

And do so in a way that feels more person than platform, much to the chagrin of algorithms everywhere.

These ideas only exist in-process. There are no rules. All opinions are subject to change.